How would you deal with your manager if he doesn’t see the company’s cultural problems and tries to convince you to behave passive-aggressive?
Let me explain the situation. I’m a software engineer, and we do peer code reviews in the team. Sometimes, I get nit-picking comments and refuse to make changes with constructive feedback. In reply, my colleagues insist on their nit-picks (they even admit that they are nit-picking) for very long time, about 5 hours. In the end, I become told that 5 minutes caused triggered frustration and 5 hours discussion. But, wait, I’m frustrated and have wasted an enormous amount of time as well. It even has happened with a team lead; he allowed himself to ignore my feedback and kept resisting to change anything for 5 hours. Should not he value his, my, and company’s time and stop such discussions?
I have talked to my manager about this situation. He mentioned that Personal Development would help me dramatically. And he advised to ignore nit-picks and keep working, saying it would help me to think positively. But I do tell reviewers explicitly why I’m not ignoring their comments and why I don’t want to take them into account. It prevents me from keeping unsaid thoughts inside and sets a barrier between me and nitpicking. I believe, nobody wants to have nit-picks.
It seems my manager does not want to see the whole picture. He does not want to find the root of problems and fix it. He sees me “complaining” and thinks that I should be fixed instead.
I believe he is afraid of the whole picture because he himself causes a part of toxic energy floating in our company’s culture. Allowing it to exist, everyone picks up these waves and takes out on each other.
How would you explain this to your manager?